If you haven’t been paying attention, Keke has been dominating the headlines lately. Unfortunately, it’s due to her relationship woes instead of her album and tour. When Keke Palmer went to Usher’s Las Vegas residency show, she wore a sheer dress with a black cheeky bodysuit underneath, a common trendy style amongst celebs and every day women.

However, what’s not common, is the callout Darius made on formerly Twitter, now known as X, about Keke’s appearance.

The first one quote tweeted a video of Keke on stage showcasing her outfit.

‘It’s the outfit tho. . you a mom.’

Darius Jackson’s tweet on X

Now take a moment and reflect. In what way would someone’s appearance correlate with their parenting capabilities? Why would a conflict between a couple need to be publicized to the internet? What was to be gained?

Someone’s appearance or style of dress (and please let this sink in), ESPECIALLY in an environment without children present, should hold no bearing on their motherhood. Modesty, or the lack thereof, is not a qualifier for good parenting. Her allure, sensuality, and sexiness was of no issue to Darius when he was in control of it, only once she decided to own it on her own. If he cared so much about her and/or their image so much, why did he upload a nude photo of pregnant in stockings? Why did he upload a video of her twerking? And if her clothing style/choices are unappealing to him, why would he pursue and enter a relationship with a woman like Keke, who has never presented herself as a modest, traditional, or conservative woman? This within itself lets you know it was never about the clothes. If it were due to his desire for a modest woman, he would have only pursued and dated modest women. The ideology of women only being able to be sensual and sexual beings if they are child less, is reductive to the human experience, and restrictive of the other aspects of life women are and can be.

In his second tweet, he doubled down on his previous tweet by stating,

‘We live in a generation where a man of the family doesn’t want the wife and mother of his kids to showcase booty cheeks to please others and he gets told how much of a hater he is. This is my family and my representation. I have standards and morals to what I believe. I rest my case.’

Women do not become quieter, meeker, weaker, more passive versions of themselves due to motherhood, nor should they have to in order to keep a man with a limiting view on womanhood. At best, this ideology leads to a mother being seen as less attractive to her partner due to a woman who is sexy and sexual being seen as different from a woman that is a mom. At worst, mothers are seen as worthless, unvaluable, underserving of love, affection, and kindness, devoid of a sexual appetite.

A domestic dispute should never become a public matter. If and once it does, language and word choice should be heavily considered, as language matters. Pejorative language and dog whistles should be avoided, more so in a time with so much tension between men and women, especially Black women and men. Darius did not protect Keke from the unrelenting and unnecessary critique. He opened the floodgates for an internet dragging.

Darius and Keke are, were not, and probably never will be married (it recently came out she has a protective order against him because of intimate partner violence), so I am not sure why he called her his wife. Hell, the man ain’t even give her a damn ring! Again, the supposed issue of the dress comes up, but this would be a non-issue if Darius sought after a demure woman. Even if they were engaged or married, Darius’ opinion on her clothes would still be negated as a woman, even if she is in a relationship, has full autonomy. This expectation of her to dress modestly, when she has never presented herself in that way prior to or during their relationship, is nonsensical.

When you enter a relationship, it is important to remember you only have control of yourself and NOT your partner. The best thing you can do for yourself is to choose a partner that aligns with your standards and moral compass. Doing so will prevent you from having these issues. However, if you don’t do that, the only option you have is to leave the relationship once you realize your partner doesn’t align with you. Darius never gave hater, he gave (and still does) manipulator and controller. While no one would want to end a relationship with someone they love, especially when a child is involved, there should not be so much animosity and contention in a relationship over clothing. The option for Darius to leave was always there, he simply chose to attempt to publicly shame and humiliate Keke in hopes of getting her to do what he wanted.

Prayers up for Keke and her son, Leodis. I hope Darius is able to get the help he needs in order to foster a healthy coparenting relationship and to be a good father because an abusive man is not.

If you or anyone you know are in an abusive relationship there is help available. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800)-799-7233. If you are unable to call, please text START to 88788. You can also visit the website at thehotline.org.

Thank you for visiting my blog and reading the post. I encourage you to leave a comment, however, please be respectful. We don’t have to agree, but disrespect is not tolerated.